The request has been made for me to write about my new job and all the experiences that come with it. Well my friends lets not waste anymore time jibber-jabbering.
To read about my first days at work you will need to check back in my blog archive. Let's rewind back to Monday. Hmm Monday, Monday, Monday..Oh right, Monday!! Ok, so I was partnered with a girl named Jess who reminded me a lot of Lauryn. Why you may ask?? Because of her mannerisms of course. She sweet, cheery, and always laughing at the residents unexpected comments and quirks. It was an enjoyable day.
Yesterday...well that is a different story. First, the day started off with me wanting an extra 10 minutes of sleep. I didn't think it was going to be that big of a deal because come on, it's 4 in the fucking morning for gods sake. Anyway, of course I didn't get anything ready the night before because I was asleep by 7:45 so that was yet another thing that set me back. At about 5:15 I finally hit the road. Now with my leaving late I fully expected for it to rain, because that's what always happens. Well, it drizzled but didn't rain like I expected. Thank god because this would have made my passing cars and speeding a lot harder to do. In retrospect I wish that it did rain yesterday. I would have rather been late and had the threat of being fired or written up to deal with than what ended up happening. Going back to the speeding..so there the silver bullet and I go cruising at the cool speeds between 70-80 miles per hour until we finally reach our destination. I have exactly 2 minutes to gather my stuff and run inside before I am completely late. But wait, someone has pulled up right behind my car, stopped and is getting out. Immediately noticing this, I look in my mirror to see the one word written backwards that I can read unmistakeably. Police. Oh fucking great, good-bye 2 minute window of safety. Here he comes with my door open, my one leg hanging out of the car as I was just about to sprint inside and Mr. Policeman asks me something to the effect of, 'Where do you think you're going so fast back there?'. This is the moment of truth, it really depends on the 'where' he was referring to. I could blab out the truth and admit the guilt of the fastest speed I attained or I could beg and plead for him to let me go. Guess which route I chose?? That's right, begging and pleading and rambling a million excuses. When I finished he still asked for all my information. Damn it. Oh well...I always get tickets, nothing new here. Exactly 2 minutes later he came back with everything I just gave him but wait! Where is the all too familiar clipboard they force in my direction to acquire my John Hancock?? Let his response do the explaining and I quote, 'Make sure you watch your speed because next time it's going to cost you hundreds'. OMG!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS??? THANK YOU SO MUCH!! Of course this was the time that I just broke down and cried. I was about to jump up and give him a hug but then I figured don't risk a possible charge of assaulting a police officer. That and I saw that he was packing a taser.
Moving on..
Now that I'm finally in work it went as well as possible. I was partnered with a woman name Teressa. Let me put this woman into perspective. She considers herself as retired and is only working to give herself something to do since her husband died in the mid-nineties. Aside from working to occupy her free time, she is incredibly sweet and is about 2 feet shorter than me. Yup, I felt like a giant ALL day. Oh, and the people who I work with and my residents all thought they were funny when the two of us were standing side by side and then commenting, 'well, that is the long and short of it'. You know, that gets funnier and funnier every time I hear it. Yup, even after the 100th time that day. Despite all of this it was a smooth running day.
On a separate note, I don't think that I have ever missed my last job as much as I did yesterday. Getting paid almost double to sit on my ass all day to play with kids while praising or yelling at them. Sigh..
Now let's get to the part of my job that makes it all worth while, my residents (while keeping in mind and respecting HIPPA rules and regulations).
-Of course my favorite residents and the people that I have become closest too are those who were identified to me as being the mean and most difficult residents to work with. With this said, they are constantly stopping me in the hallway asking when I am going to be there Nurse again. <3 I imagine when and if I ever end up in a nursing home that I will be and act the same way they do. Full of piss and vinegar only showing my sweet and caring side to a lucky few.
- And...OF COURSE I attract the attention of the few male residents that I have welcoming, unwillingly, the following comments:
*- I want a slice of her!! (directed at me from a male resident while bringing another resident in the dinning room for lunch)
*- You. (The answer I was given after asking a resident what he would like to watch on television.
*- When I was younger I used to think that tall girls were ugly. Now that I'm older the taller they are the more beautiful I see them. That's why I keep asking if you got a little taller everyday I see you. Because I think you get more and more beautiful. (This was the response to the question I asked him about why he keeps asking if I got taller).
*- I have a resident, who also happens to be one of the most difficult, who is a hoarder.
*- One woman is hungry ALL THE TIME. So I give her snacks ALL THE TIME and get yelled at for it. The woman is hungry, I'm not gonna be the one who starves her. Plus, I'm only giving her Total so she's just gonna poop it out in about an hour anyway.
*- Yesterday while feeding one of my residents who is highly distracted I made up and started singing a song about mashed potatoes to keep her attention. This allowed me to give her only 2 bites but also resulted in another random resident to learn the 'mashed potato song' and start singing with me.
*- I have another woman who I did everything, with the exception of standing on my head, to convince her to go down to the dinning room to join in with the birthday party. When she finally agreed to go she asked if I was this relentless when it came to convincing my husband to marry me. I told her no, I'm trying to convince my boyfriend as to why he shouldn't marry me. This made her laugh.
...But that's enough resident talk for one day. In other news...
Marcus has finally gotten in contact with the Air Force recruiter again and has gotten more information on when to take the officers entrance exam and the physical requirements to be admitted. This has spurred him into fast track fitness training 101. Run, Run, Run Mur!!
Me, on the other hand, am still looking for another job. Anything closer. While waiting for responses from future potential employers I am busying myself with hanging lavender to dry from Aunt Z's garden and making cookies for the guys upstairs to thank them for watering our plants the week Marcus and I were out of town. Today though, as my last day off for the next four days, I am being a lazy ass on the couch watching ANTM and blogging until I get up enough motivation to shower before Marcus comes home and we go out for wings of the chicken!! My favorite!! Yumm!!!
Looking for a good comedy to watch?? I would recommend 'Just Go With It' Staring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston. Want another good comedy to watch but only have the time to watch one that is allowed by a trailer?? Then watch 'Bad Teacher' staring Cameron Diaz. All the greatest scenes are shown are spoiled before you even make it to the theater. But don't take my word for it..
TaTa for now!!
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